You Are Dead
by Dada-chan
Summary: What happens when various guys in Konoha try to kiss Sakura? Purple eyes, broken limbs and a lot of yelling. But, from all those guys, there is a lucky one. But who? R
1. Chapter 1

Purple-eyed Sai

It was a warm, sunny day of spring. Everything was normal, even I was normal today. I know, that sounds strange, but I, Haruno Sakura, can be normal. Creepy thing, eh?

Anyway, as I was saying, I was in a good mood and planning to remain happy the whole day. But, as life hates me, I wasn't going to. Ugh, life can be such a bitch sometimes!

I woke up at 8 in the morning. "Such a nice day!" i said to myself. "What are we going to do today?" my inner asked me. "Training with the boys, a few hours at the hospital, report to Tsunade-shishou and the rest of the day off. Pretty good, huh?" "You call this good?! Geeze, we work to much! If I could only control the body...." my inner said then went somewhere in the back on my head.

I got out of bed and walked mechanically to the bathroom. 1 hour later i was ready to leave. I went into the kitchen, grabbed a peach and went outside.

Sai POV

It was another warm day today. Good, that means Sakura will be in a good mood. I'm going to try to kiss her, like Kiba-kun told me yesterday. He also said girls like being kissed. Hmm....If this is true, then why doesn't Sakura-chan kiss anyone? This is strange....very strange.

I was awake long before the sunrise, so at 5 am I was ready to leave my house. Too early, though....Maybe I will go to the library and study something about kissing. They have to have books on this there.

(at the library, normal POV)

"Good morning Jirayia-san" a dark-haired shinobi greeted the old sannin at the front desk.

"Oh, good morning Sai. How can I help you?"

"Well, Kiba-kun told me yesterday that girls like being kissed and I plan on trying this. So, does the library have any books about this subject?" Sai asked.

"Hehehe, of course Sai, of course." the sannin chuckled. "But who do you want to kiss?" he asked adding 'Poor, girl' in his head.

"I was planning to kiss Sakura-chan"

"Sakura, eh? You know how to choose boy..." the older man said with a wicked spark in his eyes. "Here, I will give you a very interesting book, but I must warn you: the things described in this book are NOT to be tried without the proper experience" he said handing him a small book. "And one more thing, Sai. Be careful, if Sakura doesn't like this, you will suffer great injuries"

"Ah, I will be careful, Jirayia-san. Arigatou and goodbye" the young shinobi said leaving the library.

(back to Sakura, her POV)

I walked out of my modest apartment. It wasn't big, it was perfect for me, a busy konoichi. In front of the building was a big, old, sakura tree, which I liked very much. I passed by the tree and gathered a few flowers in my palm. They smelled sweetly and were very delicate.

The streets of Konoha were already busy, people coming and going. I headed towards Ichiraku's to see if Hinata and Naruto were there. As I entered the small shop, I saw 5 piles of bowls and knew Naruto was there.

"Hey, Naruto, Hinata. How are you doing?" I asked sitting near Hinata.

"Good morning Sakura-chan! Ramen?" the blond asked.

"No thanks, Naruto. I know Hinata's paying and you already ate very much. I am here just to tell you we have training in a couple of hours, so be at the training fields" I said.

"S-Sakura-chan, a-are you s-sure you d-don't want t-to eat something?" Hinata asked.

"Don't worry, Hinata, I'm not hungry" I answered softly. "Anyway, this boy here already ate for an army" I growled in Naruto's direction.

"Oi! What did I do? I'm just hungry!"

"Yes, but you're hungry on her money!" I said growing annoyed. I'd better leave or I'm going to do something to Naruto "Oh, and don't you dare be late for training today!".

I turned to Hinata and spoke in a much softer voice "I have to go, Hinata. See you later!"

After I left the ramen bar I headed towards my friend's flower shop. On the way I saw a certain lazy guy heading for the same shop.

"Good morning Shikamaru" I greeted the boy. "Where are you going?" I asked although I knew already.

"Good morning Sakura. I'm going to Ino's flower shop. I...uh....my father asked me to buy....flowers, yes, flowers!" he said. I k new he was lying,

"Ah, of course, of course..." I said snickering. Then, I walked faster, wanting to reach the flower shop before him so I could talk to Ino.

"Good morning Ino-pig" I greeted my friend.

"Morning Forehead. Wat'cha doing?" she said coming from behind the counter.

"Oh, nothing. Just came to say hi. And a little gossip, of course". We both laughed at my answer. "Anyway, I won't be staying long since you'll have company"

"Oh, really? Who?" she asked

"Shikamaru, I saw him on my way here. He said his dad asked him to buy flowers. I honestly don't believe him because he was blushing and stuttering. I think he will be here for SOMEONE more than SOMETHING" I said a chuckled. "Well now, Ino-pig, you'll find out why he came yourself. I have to go now, see you later!"

I waved goodbye to my friend and ran towards my team's training grounds. I thought I'll be the only one there as usual. I was wrong. There, leaning against a tree was Sai. Annoying, anti-social, extremely hot ...-wait, did I just think that?-.... Sai.

"Morning, Sai!" I greeted.

Sai's POV

After I left the library I headed towards our usual training grounds. No one was there yet. Surprising. Usually, Sakura was there first. Oh, well. Since I'm early, it wouldn't be bad if I did a little reading from the books I borrowed.

I finished the 5th chapter of the first volume of Icha Icha Paradise when Sakura finally came.

"Morning, Sai!" she greeted.

"Hello Sakura" I answered closing my book.

Sakura POV

He greeted me too while snapping his orange book closed. Wait- what? Snapping his ORANGE book closed. Orange, Icha Icha, book. God no! This can't be true! Who was crazy enough to give this anti-social freak a porn book?

"Uhm...Sai....What were you reading?" I asked wryly.

"Oh, this?" he answered showing me the book. It was indeed Icha Icha Paradise. "It's a book I borrowed for doing some research. Do you want to try it, too? It's pretty interesting" he said giving me a fake smile.

"No, Sai. I don't want to read that book. It's a PORN book, for Kami's sake!"

"Oh, that's what it's called? Well, I find it pretty interesting. As I told you, I read it for research"

I don't want to know what type of research. "Sai, I don't think I really wanna know, but what are you researching on?"

"Oh, I can't tell you, Sakura-chan. It would ruin the moment" he said getting closer to me.

I backed away until I hit a tree. Who was the sick person who gave SAI a perverted book? That person was going to feel my wrath. Really, I was going to kill th-

My thoughts were interrupted when Sai kissed me. K-I-S-S-E-D ME. SAI. Oh, no, he didn't.

Sai POV

I kissed her. You know, kiss, the thing you do with someone. Put your lips over the other's, trace your tongue over their lips, you know. Well, I tried that with Sakura. I was about to deepen the kiss when I felt a strong blow in my eye and I was forced to move away.

Sakura was angry. I don't know why, but she was angry and heading towards me. Uh-oh, heading towards me?! I didn't have time to move away as her fist connected with my eye. Ouch!

Sakura POV

"Hmph. YOU BASTARD, YOU KISSED ME?! OH, YOU'LL BE SO DEAD....." I said – yelled - heading for my third punch.

Just I was about to beat him to a pulp, I felt strong arms holding me.

"Sakura-chan, what happened? " asked an all too familiar voice.

"THAT BASTARD KISSED ME! KISSED ME!" I yelled in Naruto's year.

"YOU DID WHAT?! SAI, YOU ARE A HELL OF A GUY!" he said and he burst out laughing.

"What's so funny? Sai, you're lucky Naruto held me- wait, Naruto held me? NARUTOO! YOU ARE SO DEAD IF YOU DON'T LET GO OF ME!" I yelled.

"Hai, hai, Sakura-chan. Calm down" he said and let go. "So, since Sai is not able to train today, wanna go to eat something? My pay, datebayo!"

"Okay, Naruto. But don't you try the same thing or you'll be dead" I warned him then followed him towards Ichiraku's

Sai POV

Ouch. That hurt. I'm so glad Naruto held her before she could get to me. Hmm….I guess I know I should never try to kiss her again. Oh, and I have to return the book to Jirayia-san.

So, no training today. I'd better go get some ice for my eye. Ouch!


	2. Chapter 2

Last time:

"Okay, Naruto. But don't you try the same thing or you'll be dead" I warned him then followed him towards Ichiraku's

Chapter 2: Not-So-Handsome-Anymore Genma

"Aw, c'mon Saakura-chan, why'd I do that?" Naruto asked. 'Although I have a milion reasons to, but I don't want to end up dead...' he thought.

On the way, the two passed by a bar. From the bar they heard the voice of Genma, a sigh definitely coming from Iruka and the loud-mouth Anko.

"You wouldn't stand a chance, Genma. She's waaaay to young and if she doesn't like you, you'll end up in hospital" Anko said.

"Aw, Anko-chan, I'm sure she likes me too, why wouldn't she? Afterall, I'm so handsome" Genma said.

'I wonder who are they talking about.....Anko said she has an amazing strength...Maybe it's Shizune...argh, it can't be Tsunade!' Sakura thought.

"Aye, Sakura, are you coming?" she heard Naruto's voice.

"Yes, Naruto!" the pinkette said while running towards her jinchuuriki friend.

later, Sakura's POV

"Naruto, it's your 25th bowl! How much ramen can one eat?" I said exasperated.

"Oi, Sakura-chan, I'm hungry, I only had another 10 this morning when I was with Hinata!"

"By the way, what did Hina-chan want?"

"Oh…uhm…..W-Well, you see…"

"Spit it" I commanded.

"Ok, fine. Hinata asked me to go out with her but I told her I d-don't have feelings for her…." He said with his head down.

"YOU DID WHAT?! NARUTO, YOU KNUCKLEHEAD! THE GIRL LOVES YOU, FOR KAMI'S SAKE! COULDN'T YOU AT LEAST SAY YOU'LL GO OUT WITH HER, YOU KNOW SHE LOVES YOU!"

"Calm down, Sakura. I didn't know she liked me. And I already love someone else…." He said the last part very quietly.

"Hey, Naruto, isn't that Iruka-san outside? Oh, look, he's coming here!" I suddenly said.

"Iruka-sensei? Where? OY! IRUKA-SENSEI! COME EAT RAMEN WITH US!"

In the meantime, said teacher finally made it to the two young shinobi.

"Good evening Naruto-kun, Sakura-chan. Nice meeting you here"

"Hi Iruka-san! How have you been? I haven't seen you around so much lately" I curiously asked.

"Oh, um, yes, I have been a little busy, Sakura. Personal issues" he answered, blushing.

"Iruka-sensei, are you blushing?" Naruto asked. How impolite of him.

"W-Wha-? M-Me? I'm n-not blushing, Naruto-kun"

"Yes you are, and now you're stuttering. Spill it, Iruka-sensei"

"Oh, fine. If I really have to" he looked pleadingly at me. But I gave no sign that I want to help him, so he continued. "Lately, I have been uhm….romantically involved with someone and it didn't leave me much spare time"

"Really, who?" I asked, the curiosity getting the best out of me

"Uhm….She's a lot younger than me…."

"It doesn't matter, Iruka-sensei. Just tell us already"

"I-It's Temari-chan. You know her, right? Sabaku no Temari, the Kazekage's sister"

"'MARI-CHAN?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!" I yelled at the poor teacher, excited because of the good news.

"A-Anyway, Sakura-san, I didn't come here for chatting" he said in a serious voice. "Naruto-kun is required to meet the Hokage as fast as possible. I didn't get any details about it, Tsunade-sama just told me to get him. Naruto, you are required in the Godaime's office in 10 minutes"

"Awww, but I'm hungry!" he protested. I glared at him. "Fine, fine, I'm going. See you tomorrow, Sakura-chan"

The obnoxious blonde said and ran off to the Hokage's office. That only left me and Iruka-san.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan, but I have to go too. Temari-chan said I should be home early"

"Okay, I'll see you later, I guess. Send all the best to Temari"

"I will, ja ne, Sakura-san!"

Uff, now I'm alone. I guess I'll go for a drink. Damn you Tsunade for getting me to drink too.

I then headed towards the sake bar.

Genma's POV

Wah, so boring tonight. Anko left earlier to meet Kakashi, Izumo and Kotetsu are on guard tonight and I'm not hanging around Gai. He's a creep. So, I'm all alone in the bar and it's just 7 PM. Gah, what do I do?

I heard the curtains rustle and felt a familiar chakra. Sakura-chan. Am I not lucky?

"Oh, hello Genma-san. Nice seeing you here. Alone tonight?" the pinkette asked.

"Yes, everyone's busy tonight so I'm alone. But what are you doing here?"

"Well, I was eating ramen with Naruto-kun when Iruka-san came to tell him to go to Tsunade-shishou. I wonder what that was about. Do you know anything about this?"

"No, I have no idea. Maybe he did something bad again, or it might be information about Akatsuki. Anyway, why didn't you stay with Iruka-san? He likes ramen too"

"Well, he had to go home" she giggled. "Did you hear the news, Genma-san?"

"What news?" I asked curiously. "Iruka would tell me if anything"

"Oh, well. He's dating Temari of the Sand. You know, Gaara's sister" she said giggling more.

"The Kazekage's sister?! Really?"

"Yup. I don't know for how long, but I know that she told him to be home early"

"Is that an innuendo, Sakura-chan?"

"Of course it is! Really, why do you think Iruka-san was so busy these days and he has to be home early?"

"Well, then. Seems like his girlfriend is addicted to 'something'"

We both started to laugh and we didn't stop for a while.

'Ok, a few more drinks and she'll be down. Then maybe I get my chance'

"Here, Sakura-chan, let's drink for Iruka-sensei's luck" I suggested.

"Of course, of course. Good idea"

A few more drinks later Sakura was slightly flushed, so I decided I'd take my chance.

"Say, Sakura-chan, how come you don't have anyone?"

"Oh, hehe, you see…. I have to much work to worry about that. Anywaaaay, it's not that big of a problem. For me, you understand?" she answered, slightly slurred.

"And you spend your nights alone? What a shame, for a nice konoichi like you…."

"Awww, don't worry, Genma-kun, I can handle it. Besides, it's not like I've never done anything, if you get me…" the drunk konoichi said with a smirk.

"Hmm…. I think we had enough drink for tonight. Here, I'll walk you home" I said placing some money on the counter.

"Awww, you're so sweet Genma-kun"

We left the bar and headed towards her house. When we got there, she started searching for her keys.

"Say, Sakura-_chan, _do you want some company for the night?"

"Huh? Why would you think that?"

"Oh, well, you're alone, no one to take care of you. What if a thief comes and you get hurt?" I said getting closer and closer.

She backed away and into the door and I placed my hands on either side of her head.

"Genma-san?"

I smirked and then leaned closer. I pushed my lips over hers and kissed her forcefully.

Sakura's POV

Why is Genma-san acting so strange? And why is he trapping me? And leaning closer? AND WHY THE HELL IS GENMA KISSING ME AND GRABBING MY ASS?!

Oh, why does this always happen to me?

I couldn't get him off before he slid his tongue in my mouth. Oh well, I know how to make him pay.

I opened my mouth and then bit hard on the jounin's tongue.

"Ow!, what was that for, Sakura-chan?" he asked startled.

"FOR KISSING ME! I ALREADY HAD A HELL OF A DAY, YOU DON'T NEED TO MAKE IT ANY WORSE! WHY THE HELL DID YOU KISS ME?!"

"I thought she was drunk enough" Genma muttered under his breath. But Sakura heard him.

"YOU THOUGHT WHAT? OH, YOU PERVERTED BASTARD!" I said and headed towards him.

Genma's POV

When Anko found me in the morning, I was more dead than alive.

"Lemme guess, Sakura?" she asked with a sly smile.

"Owwww, I tried to suggest we spend the night, but I guess she wasn't thinking the same thing. And I thought I got her drunk enough…"

"You tried to inebriate her? Geeze, Genma, she's a medic nin! She can't get drunk!"

"Well, you did when I tried…"

"YOU DID WHAT?! Genma, you're a dead man…" she said coming forward.

Ow, I had to stay in hospital for a week after those two did that to me…..


End file.
